1 They Didn’t Want to Release His Checks

Most of this I learned second hand as it occurred.

When I was younger my dad bought some oil field royalties percentage ownerships of what is produced that gave a check each month for a few hundred bucks.

Well as time goes by the checks begin to dwindle and then stop.

At this point he began to look into the company that operated the oilfield and received a significantly less than satisfactory answer.

At this point they really should have just given him the checks each month because at this point he proceeded to look into the company and peel back a metric ton of fraud and other deceptions.

Over the course of a 7 year litigation case my dad figured out exactly how they were committing fraud.

Then after working with a few lawyer friends hit them with the ultimate slap in court which removed their operators license for oil wells and promptly thereafter they went out of business.

He ruined a $50 million company because they tried to screw him out of a few hundred bucks a month.

LegalGraveRobber


2 Pest, Be Gone

Back in 2019 my family and I decided to go on a road trip up the east coast. One night we decided to stop in Fort Bragg NC.

While there we elected to head to this small bar to get some dinner before calling it a night.

Upon arriving I notice there's this one really loud dude who's trying to flirt with every single girl that walked into the bar.

Anyways there's this one lady that he's really bugging and you can visibly tell that she's uncomfortable but he's not stopping.

That lady then decides to go sit down next to this really quiet bunch of dudes in the corner. Upon noticing the company these men were giving her he walks up to them and starts losing it.

He yells a ton of obscenities and tries to show off the fact that he was a Ranger or something but these dudes just ignore him. 

Eventually he gives up and makes the mistake of grabbing the girl's arm.

At that exact moment one of the men stands up grabs that dude's arm flips him like a ragdoll onto the ground and pins his arm to the ground. They have a quick chat about niceties before letting him go and that dude is promptly ushered out of the restaurant.

Later found out they were special forces of some type!

Renoux_Venture


3 Sucker Punch

I was at a Machine Gun Kelly concert a few weeks ago in general admission. We made friends with some people next to us; a dad who took his 14 year old daughter and her friend to the show. 

He was a really nice guy and his daughter was so excited to be at her first ever concert. 2 minutes after the show starts a fight breaks out right next to us.

We quickly realize it’s the dad we met fighting some late twenties Chad looking guy.

It lasted only a couple of minutes— we watched as Chad ripped the dad’s shirt in half off of him only for the dad to then clock him so hard in the face that he fell to the ground and scurried away. 

We later found out from our new friend that the Chad guy had come up to his daughter from the crowd and started touching her inappropriately.

He finished out the concert with his daughter shirtless. It was awesome lol.

Odd_Sandwich_3111


4 Iron Man

Stepdad used to run the Iron Man equivalent in our area. Also had the absolute conviction found in his generation that Justice was always on his side.

Also he always slept naked (which I learned as a result of this incident).

One late summer night two idiot kids tried to steal his truck out of his driveway. He sees this happening from his bedroom window and goes tearing out of the house totally nude and chases these two terrified kids for blocks screaming “I’M GONNA GET YOU!”

He tackled one and the cops were on scene in moments because obviously some concerned neighbor noticed this happening at 2am in our sleepy little town.

God only knows what that 911 call sounded like.

Probably a good thing the cop already knew the kid as a car thief. He hung out with the sobbing teen and suggested my stepdad sit in the cruiser til his wife could bring him some pants.

shoeswerenumbernine


5 Big Mark

I worked at a bar with my sister and we had a bouncer everyone called Big Mark because he was freaking huge. He was 6'8 and probably weighed around 320.

He was massive. But he was also a sweet guy and super funny and smart. 

I never saw him have to fight anyone. Any time someone would refuse to leave or started raising their voice Mark would just say "Stop threatening me sir" and that took care of it.

There was one time my sister brought a People magazine or some other scandal rag to work and she sat in a booth with some other servers before it got busy and they read it together and joked around about the celebrities. 

Anyways it gets busy my sister leaves the magazine on the table and two middle aged couples come in and sit in the booth.

They're already tipsy and they all gloom onto the magazine. "What kind of moron reads this crap" etc.

They start flipping through it and then they start ripping it up and laughing. 

In the midst of the rush my sister sees this and gets kinda mad so she goes up to Mark and tells him those suckers just tore up her magazine.

So Mark gets up and lumbers over to their table and just stands there until they stop talking. 

He leans down and puts both hands on the table and says in his deepest voice "Why did you tear up my magazine." 

All four of them looked like they were going to throw up. It was glorious.

They mumbled apologies and said they didn't know it was his and promptly got up and left. Mark was a guy that would never want to kick someone's butt but he could intimidate the crap out of 99% of people.

I think he's a nurse now.


6 Full Of It

My father recently told me this story about this idiot who he works with driving trucks for different distributors.

They have no smoking areas for food productions etc. but this idiot decided to smoke there anyway putting his butts out in a Styrofoam cup. 

Anyway after a while his truck was loaded and decided to just throw the cup out the window after getting in his truck when a man walked passed and asked him calmly to pick the cup up and put it in the bin.

To which this intellectual giant of a driver says "if it's so important why don't you put it in the bin" before driving off. 

Without making much of a reaction he picked it up walked to the bin then made his way back inside.

When my father gets back to the main truck depot he sees this driver getting yelled at by his boss. 

Turns out there was a conference being held with some overseas members of the company and the CEO the CEO of which was told to pick up the cup.

They instantly barred the driver from the site and all associated sites and my fathers boss had to jump through hoops to not lose the contract renewal.

I can't imagine the level of ecstasy that CEO would have felt during the whole situation knowing that this jerk doesn't know who he is.

Tazoo


7 Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

When I was a senior in high school I was at a house party.

There was this chick named Rachel there a notoriously crazy witch who was known for causing trouble anywhere she went.

She was also a pretty big girl maybe 5'9 broad shoulders. 

Anyway out of nowhere she just starts screaming at another girl Sarah a shorter skinny thing who was seriously on the other side of the room doing absolutely nothing. 

Rachel gets up in her face starts cursing her out pushing her multiple times obviously just trying to start a fight for the hell of it. 

Rachel finally decides to throw a punch and I kid you not like a flash of light Sarah just launches at Rachel starts beating the living crap out of her face knocks her on her ass and strong holds Rachel's hair and starts slamming her skull on the brick fireplace in the house. 

I think she must have knocked Rachel out for a minute because Sarah decided she was done and just stood up and walked away. 

Turns out Sarah's older sister was a competitive female boxer and showed her a thing or two about fighting.

Definitely the best girl fight I've ever seen.

iamafoxiamafox


8 Spoiling For A Fight

My wife and I were at a punk show at a small venue downtown. It was kind of a weird lineup.

There was a gutter punk band a street punk band and an Irish folk/punk band playing. Kind of a strange mix of people. 

Anyway we're outside while I was smoking and watched as 4 gutter punk kids step out the door and spit right in the face of this slightly overweight Irish guy who was just minding his own business.

He shouts something like "What the heck!" and the gutter punks surround him.

People could see this was going to be bad so the crowd starts to step in to intercede when the Irish guy puts his fists up like he's a boxer from 1900.

It looked almost ridiculous and I thought for sure this guy was going to have a bad night.

Nope.

He lashed out and dropped one of the gutter punks in one hit before they closed on him.

One of the remaining 3 got a solid punch into his face bloodying his nose.

The Irish guy returned the favor with a wicked punch to the stomach that dropped the kid to his knees. 

The remaining two idiots tried to grapple with the guy and one of them got thrown through the plate glass window to the venue. 

Police showed up and after questioning people in the crowd they arrested the 4 punks who started it and let the Irish guy go.

Venue even let him back in despite the broken window.

The whole fight lasted maybe 5 or 10 seconds.

This kind of short slightly overweight guy showed me what a bad idea it can be to judge a book by its cover.

Tracerface


9 I Was The Jerk

I would like to preface this with the fact that up until this point I was a jerk and a bully.

I was 14 and at a summer camp. There was this Russian kid who attended who had lived here for a year with family to go to school.

Since he was a foreigner I immediately singled him out and started picking on him.

This went on for about two weeks with me mocking him in a Russian accent making jokes about Russians and generally just being a little jerk. 

Then one day he had enough. He picked a fight with me and I'd thought I would have easily one since I had almost a foot on the guy.

Nope.

I go in for a punch and he ducks grabs my arm and throws me over him onto the ground.

Breaking my arm in the process. I started crying. I was then taken to the hospital. I went back to camp and I was forced to apologize to the kid and I did.

We ended up being friends and he tells me that his dad runs a jiu jitsu gym in St. Petersburg and is a former Spetznaz soldier. 

He wasn't the kind to boast so I believed him. He told me his dad trained him in jujitsu for most of his life.

That day I learned you probably shouldn't mess with strangers because you have no idea what they are capable of.

Everyone should get their butt kicked at least once in their life so they know this.


10 Make It Hurt

We had a vendor who showed up once a week and was a bit of a hand masher. Liked to crush your knuckles while shaking your hand.

The boss had just hired a doughy looking middle-aged guy for the sales department. I told him to be wary shaking the vendor's hand.

A few days later the vendor shows up puts his hand out to the new guy with a big smile and goes in for the kill. At first everyone is smiling.

The new guy is looking him in the eye while pumping his hand furiously. Then stops.

The smile melts off the vendor's face.

He had a pained look on his face as his lips pursed together. The vendor yelped a long "Eeeeyah!" and dropped the new guy's hand like it was lava.

Pulled the new guy aside and asked how he did that.

"Ten years I drove a tow truck. Must have changed thousands of flat tires with just hand tools. Nobody crushes my hand."

1Badshot


11 The Truck Stop

I was on the road with my grandpa (he was a truck driver) and we had stopped for the night at a truck stop.

We go to do our normal thing of showering eating playing a game or two then sleeping.

If you don’t know truck stops have separate room showers.

I got out of the shower and was waiting outside for my grandpa to finish his. 

I go look at the glass figurines that most stops have and wasn’t but 5 feet from the showers.

Next thing I know a man grabs my arm and starts dragging me to the door. I was about 10 at the time but I looked about 6/7.

Obviously I don’t know this man and I start crying loudly trying to grab onto something to stop him.

Thankfully my grandpa walked out at that moment and heard me screaming bloody murder.

He ran and I’ve never seen that man run before to the guy dragging me saying “it’s my daughter I promise don’t worry!”

That man flew to the ground so fast and hard. My grandpa’s hand was bloody blood sprayed when he was hit.

The man looked up at him and yelled that I was his daughter.

My grandpa said “I’m the grandfather care to try again?” As he got closer.

Cops came as my grandpa was straddling him and was about to beat him to a bloody pulp.

Workers of the store backed up my grandpa showed security footage there were even bruises on my arms.

If my grandpa had been in the showers another minute who knows where I’d be or what would have happened to me.

I love you grandpa!

pano-rama


12 Big Bully

Me and a friend would walk home from middle school. I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th.

There was a 9th grader that walked the same route. He was 5 inches taller and 30 pounds bigger than me.

He would pick on us all the time. Throw us down. Punch. Spit. Sometimes him and sometimes me.

So we made a pact. If he starts in on one of us we both take him.

So a couple days later he put my friend in a headlock. So I put him in one and managed to pull him down.

As he started to overpower me my friend kicked him in the head.

I choked him while my friend just kept kicking him with hiking boots. 

Beat the living crap out of him. Blood from his mouth and nose.

Gravel burns on his face. 4 months of hate came out all at once. Never messed with us again.

Jerk.

nawmynameisclarence


13 The Bully Rehab Program

In highschool we had Kevin who was a true Kevin. Always bullying or attacking other kids.

Our school also had a 0 tolerance policy which meant if a teacher saw you get attacked you were suspended too.

For a whole week. One of my friend groups got suspended after being attacked by this kid and we figured out what we had to do.

The beginning of the next day after they both got back from suspension right in front of the principal I walked up and slapped Kevin right in the face.

The principal pulled him off of me before he could do any real damage and we both got a week suspension. 

The next week another of my friends did the exact same.

This now meant that Kevin could only do one more week of school before mandatory expulsion and be pushed back a year.

The day he came back we walked up to him as a group and laid it out for him: we caught wind of you bullying anyone in school or out we're gonna get you expelled.

If you are anything but a perfect gentleman to everyone teachers kids everyone we'll get you bounced out of school. And he did. 

Honestly he was a much nicer kid after that even joined our boy scout troop for a while.

We even ended up helping tutor him to make up for all the lost time he'd accrued.

He managed to pass freshman year if only just barely. 

Unfortunately he had severe learning disabilities and failed out on his own the next year.

Went to work with his dad as a mechanic.

I still see him around sometimes he got his GED in his late 20s and his master mechanics license around the same time makes good money and is a nice if somewhat reserved guy to this day.

iordseyton


14 She Had Enough

I was in India with my Swedish friend. She was a semi professional handball player at the time so she was pretty muscular.

Now if you’ve ever been to India with or as a white woman you’re going to get groped. Often.

Not to say all men in India are such pigs but it’s a populated country and enough of them are for it to be an almost daily or in some cases multiple times a day event.

It was just after a heavy monsoon rain in Goa and we were walking along a dirt path near the beach right alongside this giant twenty centimeter deep puddle that basically covered the whole road.

She’d been ‘accidentally’ groped twice already that day and had done nothing but this time was different.

Five or six youngish guys late teens maybe early twenties all in designer jeans sneakers and baseball hats and so on despite us being at the beach (basically rich kids from Mumbai) were walking along blocking the whole path and literally just grabbing girls as they passed by them.

Then they got to her and one of them just ran his hand up from her waist across her breast and...

She socked him across the jaw so fast and hard he just crumpled backwards before anyone knew what was happening.

Right into the huge mud puddle in all his designer gear. 

He splashed around a bit and we thought his friends were going to kick off but of course they all put their heads down and kept walking terrified as she started shouting at him.

He tried to get up reaching for his hat which was floating nearby and she puts her foot on his chest and just pushed him back into the puddle right down making sure he was completely covered face and everything.

‘Stay there till you can’t see me any more’ she said and we walked off.

I checked back and he was still lying in the puddle even though she was fifty meters away or so just waiting for her to leave.

It was glorious!

Anzai


15 Full Sprint

My family and I grew up in Baltimore City.

The specific neighborhood we lived in wasn't the best but certainly not the worst either (at the time late 90s-early 2000s).

One day when my little brother was around 7 he was outside in the street next to our yard playing on his skateboard. 

A group of kids not much older were walking by looking to start trouble.

It all happened so fast they ran up and started beating on him then stole his skateboard. My dad was home that day. 

My sister and I ran inside hysterically and without even thinking twice he jumped up from his lazy boy in only his t-shirt and shorts maybe only touched one of our 7 stairs out front and absolutely BOLTED after those punk kids. 

This 50 year old man (at the time) chased them for like 3 blocks in his bare feet and they're screaming fearing for their lives.

They finally dropped the skateboard at some point and my dad stopped chasing them and grabbed it but holy crap I'd never seen him so angry and move so fast (signature angry dad warning sign - his eyes get huge and piercing terrifyingly blue). 

When he came back his feet were so bloody and roughed up from straight sprinting on the concrete through gravel roads and alleyways.

We never saw those kids near our house let alone around our neighborhood again.

My dad is the greatest. Don't mess with his kids.

JacqiPro13


16 The Humbling Experience

I was covering a hockey game as a sports reporter when I saw the single best retaliation of my life.

In my state if you're female and you want to play hockey with the boys you can.

Typically the serious girl hockey players will play in these leagues because the girls-only hockey leagues are crap.

There was this girl named Alex who I had covered since she was a freshman and she was really good.

Played since she was a kid was on some really good travel teams competed in national camps got a college scholarship for the sport and played four years in college etc.

Anyway her junior year I'm covering an away game at this crappy arena and her school is playing one of its rivals so I know it's going to be a chippy game.

It did not disappoint.

This big tough boy notices she's a girl (or played against her before) and spends the first two periods basically trying to intimidate her by checking her hard into the boards whenever she has the puck and generally doing all the things you know someone is doing to antagonize you.

Now I've seen this girl play and I know she isn't going to tolerate that so I just wait for the moment she snaps.

It comes in the third period.

The jerk comes running full speed from one side of the ice to the other and gives her one of the worst cheap shot checks I've ever seen.

She hits the boards hard lands on the ice and the crowd yells because the refs either didn't see it or didn't care and the play breaks the other way so everyone else is moving away from them.

She doesn't miss a beat though.

Calmly I watch her pick herself up and hockey player must have said something to cause her to snap because she takes her helmet off and goes his way.

At this point I can tell he thinks he's going to dismiss this sweet little girl and tell her to play with dolls or something but he never gets the chance.

She socks him right in the jaw and starts beating the crap out of him.

It was absolutely amazing.

He must have had maybe 50 pounds on her but she didn't care and she beat him up handily.

And because the refs were on the other side of the ice it took a little bit of time to break them up.

She got ejected.

He got ejected but he sulked out of the arena knowing full well he got his butt kicked by a girl.

It was phenomenal.

Pspetrini


17 Subway Surfing

I lost it at a Subway a while back. This story isn't about me losing it at a person myself but I found someone who could and did.

The Subway I go to is inside a skating rink and on this day it was flooded with newly pubescent boys thinking that treating people like absolute horse dung is how you act like a "Macho Man."

One girl behind the counter was near tears and the other woman was trying to hold her own against a bunch of ~13 year olds.

It was "You freaking idiot I didn't ask for mayo!" 

"Are you blind! For Pete’s sake that's not toasted enough!" 

"When I get a job I'm gonna be making more than you!"

Just a taste of some of what I heard. So I went out to the lobby of the skating rink found a woman nearby and asked her if she was with the "Boys in Subway" which she was and then I told her to follow me.

The look on the boys faces when she let out her angered screech after listening to them was friggin priceless.

She made the boys pay for their own food. One boy didn't even get to finish "making" his sandwich.

Her: "Wrap it up how it is and he'll pay for it!"

Then from what I gathered as she practically dragged them out of the place she said to the boys that she was going to speak to their parents followed by strong protests as she told them to "Pack their crap" as she was taking them home early.

I left the girls at the subway a nice tip and they gave me a cookie.

Lesson learned? Never mess with an angry mom.

Cananbaum


18 The Complete Newbie

This bouncer had not long started work and was sent by his security agency to cover a shift in Merthyr Tydfil (I've not been but heard it's quite a rough area).

During the night the head doorman refused entry to a guy for being too drunk and for being involved in an incident at a different nightclub a few weeks prior. 

The drunk dude began to get all up in the head doorman's face threatening to come back with "The boys".

This is usually quite an empty threat — normally a drunk dude gets all angry for a bit and then walks away/moved on by the police.

In this instance the guy walked away and the new bouncer who was covering thought the issue had passed.

30 minutes later the drunk guy returns with 15 of his friends marching down the road "like a scene from green street/football factory"

The new bouncer is watching these guys approach the head doorman thinking "Crap! crap! crap! We're going to be in a spot of trouble here".

He sees the head doorman reach inside his coat pocket.

"Holy smokes does he have a weapon or something?! Crap is going to hit the fan".

The head doorman produces a gumshield from his pocket puts it in his mouth and limbers up his neck and cracks his knuckles all in complete silence and calm.

The lad's approaching and sees this and pauses before one shouts "nah screw that mate" and they all scatter.

The new bouncer asked not to be sent there on cover again.

jacktli


19 He Got Too Confident

In 7th grade I grew from 5ft 2in to 5ft 9in within a span of 8 months.

I went from being of average height to looking over the heads of 85% of my classmates.

Never really got picked on but now I had a sudden confidence that I could take on anyone that messed with me and I was for the most part correct.

One day my older brother (who is seven years my senior but only 5ft 8in) and I got into it and I finally physically stood up to him.

I took a full fledged swing with all of my weight in it. Didn't phase him he just got mad.

He put me in a full Nelson slammed me into the hallway wall face first then proceeded to use his chin to dig it into my neck for near a minute.

I was crying and almost passed out.

Right after my swing I distinctly remember thinking "Crap he's going to murder me in our parents basement".

jackofalltrades723


20 He Had a Black Belt

There was a bully in my high school class who liked to “pants” other guys. His goal was usually to get both the pants and the boxers leaving the victim’s parts blowing in the breeze.

After gym the bully decided his target was a guy named Dan.

Dan was a brilliant yet awkward guy definitely on the spectrum. Dan was a tall gangly guy and an easy target.

However Dan had a secret. He had just received his Black Belt in jujitsu and was fully capable of absolutely throwing hands. 

I think you see where this is going.

Anyway the bully struts up to Dan and yoinks his shorts down. Shorts boxers everything.

Dan is left standing there fully on display with the whole class laughing at him.

Dan calmly stepped out of his downed shorts and put the bully into some crazy hold. 

Once he got the bully to squeal he flipped him over his back onto the bleachers.

The gym teacher saw the whole thing. The bully suffered a broken leg missed out on his entire senior year of athletics and was suspended. Dan received a warning not to break the legs of any more classmates.

nate800


21 Exercising Their Human Rights

This guy (well his subcontractors) does a lot of work for my local smallish city/county (about $5 million worth of work last year).

He has an autistic son and is a pretty nice if super cheap guy.

This other subcontractor was kind of a piece of manure was one of those "I'll say whatever I want cuz muh free speech."

Well on his second or third job the boss stops by to check on stuff and drop off some materials. 

The sub starts running his mouth about stupid stuff and eventually starts telling "retard" jokes. The boss says "you know I have an autistic son right?"

This was his perfect response: "yup I did sorry about your terrible luck."

Dude hasn't done a single job for the city since no other contractors will even toss him some work.

Pretty sure his business is going under. He did crappy work anyways.

CapuccinoBoy


22 I’ll Give You One Chance to Reconsider Your Move

A buddy of mine got a job at a steel mill after graduating with a degree in chemical engineering (the job wasn't related to his degree).

While working there he made a friend a guy named Lou whose job it was to stand on a platform over a vessel of molten steel and use a long heavy rod to bash through the cooling steel crust on the top (please forgive my terminology I don't know the trade). 

Lou was an unassuming man about 5'8" bald and not particularly imposing. But he was crazy strong and tough because of the job among other things.

One night they went for a beer after work and were standing at the bar drinking and chatting.

Some drunk jerk bumps into Lou and gets aggressive. 

This guy throws a punch and connects on the side of Lou's head. 

Without setting down his beer Lou grabs him by the front of his shirt with one hand lifts him off the floor and seats him on the bar.

Lou lets him go and quietly says "I'm going to give you a chance to reconsider."

The guy sobers up really fast and says "Thank you. Please accept my apology." 

Lou let him get down off the bar at which point he turned around to the barkeeper paid his tab Lou's and my buddy's then quietly left still looking shaken.

Scutifur


23 Big Mistake

One of my friends went to an inner city comprehensive school in a rough part of a big city in the north of England.

One of the bullies at the school was known for being a sadistic sucker that picked on anybody. 

One morning some new students arrived at the school and it was apparent they were of gypsy origin.

The bully made an incredibly derogatory comment about people from gypsy origin.

Big mistake.

One of the girls of gypsy origin charged at the bully and literally just pummeled him to the ground then just started savagely beating him.

She was landing punches left right and center and literally going at him like a wild animal. She would not stop! 

It took 3-4 teachers to get her off him and even then she was still trying to go for him so they had to get him out of the room. 

She was screaming all sorts of obscenities at him and saying that he better look over his shoulder as he's a marked man.

The bully had to change schools and house according to my friend.

thunderfart_99


24 She’s Not The Secretary

My wife is a structural engineer and has had to put up with her share of condescending males although later in her career word got out that she was very good at her job and it became much less so. 

Sometimes she would come home from work and tell me what happened and I would get so angry she would just smile and say it will work out.

I couldn't understand why she didn't get angry and talk back to these guys. 

Later I realized it was because she was confident in her abilities and she didn't feel the need to.

In fact I think she got more satisfaction from changing their opinion with action and not words.

I'm sure that is why she became so respected in town.

There was one time I got to witness this first hand. It was a Saturday and we had planned to take a day trip to shop and explore in a nearby town. 

On the way she planned to stop by a jobsite where iron workers were starting to erect the steel for a building she had designed and managed the fabrication of. 

We get there and this huge ironworker struts over screaming expletives "this is the worst steel we've ever worked with. Nothing fits. All the dimensions are off".

He's getting in her face and I'm starting to get out of the truck. Not sure what I'm going to exactly do with this hulk pretty sure I'm about to get my butt kicked.

She just shoots me a look and a hand motion that says "stay in the truck I got this."

She starts asking questions and he cuts her off "why did they send the *&#* secretary over here". All the other iron workers start laughing.

She ignores him and says "can you answer my questions"?

She asks her questions then asks to go up on the lift to take some plumb measurements and dimensions.

She comes back to the truck spreads the drawings on the hood does some calculations makes some notes.

All while the crew is just staring her down.

She finishes hands the marked up drawings back to the foreman and says "ok hear's the deal see that beam up there? It's pre-cambered and you have it upside down that's spreading the columns out of plumb.

See this beam? You have it in the wrong spot it goes over there it's too short in that spot and is pulling the columns in.

See this schedule? These are the piece marks so you know what goes where. Just a suggestion but if you loosen up these beam connections set that corner column plumb and rig everything from that point it will probably go together better right now you're fighting yourself".

The foreman just stared at her slack jawed and walked away grumbling something about it being better work or they would walk off the job.

She reminded him that he was a sub to her and that might not be in his best interest.

After our day trip we stopped back at the jobsite and 75% of the building steel was up. 

Foreman comes over smiling wiping his hands with a rag and reaches out to shake her hand. "I gotta hand it to you little lady we did everything you said and that building went up smooth as butter".

She just smiled and said "I'm glad it worked out".

wawzat


25 Pick On Someone Your Own Size

I was living in a city about 15 years ago that was known for a lot of violent crime.

This young guy maybe 19 or 20 knocked on a fairly elderly (in his 70’s as I recall) neighbor’s house and then tried to push his way in and rob him. 

There was a struggle and the old man beat the absolute crap out of this young dude with an old rotary phone.

It was on the news and they showed footage from inside the old man’s house. 

There was broken stuff everywhere and the young man ended up crashing through the old man’s glass coffee table.

They interviewed the old man who was gentle as could be nary a scratch on him saying something along the lines of “I know this kid he’s friends with my grandson. 

I didn’t want to hurt him but they’ve got to learn that they can’t just go breaking into people’s houses to rob them.”

The young man didn’t die but he ended up with some TBI’s that he wasn’t expected to fully recover from.


26 Dine and Dash

I work at a restaurant and four punks decided to dine and ditch.

They ran out and got away but luckily I overheard one of their names while they were eating.

Long story short I tracked him down on twitter and the direct messages went like this:

Me: Haha nice try. We know who you are. You owe us $40. Bring the money or we are reporting you to the police and your school (insert hs name). You have until Sunday night.

(1 minute later) Punk: I'm terribly sorry for this horrible incident. 

Punk: I'm bringing the money right now 

Punk: I'm terribly sorry it wasn't even my idea. I had no choice but to run also or else I'm in trouble. 

Punk: We left a bag of money.

15 minutes after I sent the message a guy literally opened the front door and threw a zip lock bag full of 40 bucks of cash and change in to the restaurant and ran away.

Idiots.

sundacee


27 Calm Retribution

My Dad worked physically and was known in our area as a bit of a gentle giant. Very quiet very controlled but very capable of handling himself.

He had cancer for a while when I was a kid and was understandably a complete shell of himself during the treatment. 

However one day during this period I witnessed him vault a fence and chase down a group of teenage guys (17-18) who were trying to mess with my sister who was around 12.

He caught one and instead of beating him bloody lifted him off his feet and held him there as if weighing up the apocalyptic beating he was about to issue before slowly setting him down and letting him go.

A few days later a bunch of these teens arrived at our door white as ghosts with their parents holding a signed apology letter.

The parents came to hear about it and realized there was no way a normally restrained man undergoing chemotherapy would react that way for no reason and I think Dad showing such controlled rage and restraint scared the young guys even more than if he had beaten the living snot out of one of them.

Sometimes it's best not to lose the head and never ever mess with a calm man.

dancingsalmon_


28 The Hidden Card

The one and only time I have had a massive win over someone falls into this category.

I was once engaged to the Vice Consul of America from Brazil.

I was flying around on holiday and coming back to America where we were living. 

I was on a working visa but had recently quit my job as we were about to move.

She was being re-posted and so I decided to go on holiday for a few weeks and had come in and out of the US several times. 

After being on a plane returning from Spain I was dressed in an old pair of shorts t-shirt odd socks and hadn't slept.

I looked and felt like crap. The TSA guy immediately flags me over and starts grilling me over my visa/travel history etc. 

He picked up that I had resigned from my job and formed the opinion that I was trying to sneak back into the States....(even though as an Australian passport holder I can come into and out of the states pretty much at will). 

He made me miss my plane and took me into one of the little rooms.

With the world's biggest condescending grin he told me I was not going to be allowed back into the States.

I tried to reason with him explaining all my housing stuff bank accounts etc were there and that all my paperwork was in order etc but he was a complete jerk and was having none of it. 

So I casually dropped my fiance's name and her position. He got a little worried.

He asked me for some details about her which I gave.

He walked out of the room his condescending grin definitely gone. 

He came back with a folder of photos and asked me to pick her out (as they keep on file photos of diplomatic personnel etc).

When I passed all his tests he turned white. For once in my life I had the power over this little bird and it would not have been a hard thing to place a call to my girlfriend and have this jerk’s job and he knew it. 

All my documentation was in order and he was just being a first class SOB. Managers were called apologies were made tickets to the first class waiting lounge were arranged and new flights were booked free of charge.

My one and only time in this world where some dude looked at me and realized that they had just majorly messed up.

Whitenoise77


29 Fast and Furious

I was driving on the freeway in my minivan with my wife and kids in the left lane.

In the rear view mirror I see a new model a green Camaro snaking through traffic weaving in and out of lanes cutting one person after another off.

He's in the middle lane and we're all taking a slight curve in the freeway.

Camaro goes in to cut off a dark colored sedan on the shoulder.

As he switches lanes Camaro isn't far enough ahead of the sedan and clips the front driver side of the sedan with the passenger side rear bumper.

Both cars go swerving off the road and spin out in the median.

We pull over on the other side of the road. I'm checking to see if both drivers are fine.

They are.

Wife calls 911.

There's dust clouding up the air from the cars off the road. They've both ended up in bushes and both cars are pretty messed up.

We stay long enough to know if we're needed as witnesses or not. Cops tell us we can go.

The sedan driver was an off duty cop and the Camaro driver has just found out.

I can't hear him from the other side of the freeway but I can see him sitting in his jacked up Camaro he probably just bought pounding his steering wheel with both fists.

He's shouting something.

Sedan driver is calmly talking to all the cops who showed up just owning the accident scene.

SparkyMountain


30 A Little Pep “Talk”

Senior year of high school sitting in a pep rally this guy starts making lewd remarks about one of the cheerleaders.

Her boyfriend is sitting a couple rows in front of him and overhears. He turns around and tells the guy to knock it off.

Guy tells him to mind his own business and keeps talking smack. 

A quick note about the boyfriend. We grew up going to the same school on the rough side of town.

He was a tall lanky guy played basketball and had been in a fair number of fights when we were kids. 

Anyway after the pep rally ends we're all filing out and as soon as we get outside the guy jumps the boyfriend from behind and starts wailing on him.

The boyfriend turns around and lays the guy out quickly the guy's cousin jumps in and the boyfriend meets him and they start trading blows. 

Another of the guy's friends jumps in and the boyfriend is fighting off both of them.

He lays the second guy out and is about to handle the third when one of the coaches grabs him from behind.

Thinking it's just someone else attacking him he spins around and decks the coach. 

After that everything just stopped. The boyfriend was a little bruised up but the others were way worse off.

The first one was still unconscious the second one looked like he didn't know where he was and the third was still standing but had blood pouring out of his nose and one eye was swollen shut. 

They definitely picked the wrong guy to mess with.

skeletorsleftlung


31 Pro Wrestlers

When I was young I was in the Navy.

And as you'd expect living amongst a couple hundred aggressive young men I got into more than a few scraps.

I was young in great shape and had exceptionally fast hands so I acquitted myself well and had a reputation of someone that you didn't really want to mess with.

Another guy on our ship a friend of mine was rumored to have been a top notch collegiate wrestler almost but not quite good enough to make the Olympic team that didn't go to Moscow in 1980 (yes I'm old).

Anyway being rather full of myself and never having seen this guy in any kind of dust up I decided to have a go at him.

We were just fooling around there was no anger involved just one young tough guy testing another.

I goaded him a few times to show me what he had. I was poised well balanced and ready for him.

And then I was on my back looking up at the sky.

I wasn't hurt. I never saw him move. No time had elapsed.

One instant I was standing in front of him ready for whatever he did and the next I was on my back looking up at the sky.

Genius that I was I figured it had to be a fluke.

So I got up and tried him again.

Once again... never saw him move didn't feel a thing. Just one instant I'm in front of him ready to go and the next I'm on my back looking up at the sky.

And once again no time had elapsed.

Well I am less stupid than I am stubborn so I admitted that he was better than I was and stayed where I was to contemplate the clouds floating silently by overhead.

Never before or since have I ever been so utterly and completely over-matched. Let me say this again so it's very clear.

I never saw him move.

Twice! I've gone toe to toe with wrestlers before but nothing I'd ever done prepared me for this guy. 

I still don't know what the hell he did all I know was that one instant I was ready to fight the next I was on my back.

Not hurt never felt a thing never saw a thing didn't notice the passage of any time. It was like I had been teleported from a vertical position to a horizontal one.

That was the day I learned the difference between a good athlete and a world class athlete.

Adddicus


32 Battle of Honor

There was a family in my neighborhood that fostered a lot of Asian boys.

One was in my class a couple were older. They lived three houses down from my best friend and he became very close with the boy in our class.

We can call him John. In retrospect it seems obvious that while he was in our class he was obviously older and was probably placed with us so he could catch up with his education. He was a great guy. 

When we were in high school a kid from the class ahead of us took a special interest in picking on my friend.

He was constantly messing with him. It escalated to him challenging my friend to fights and finally showing up in our neighborhood.

Eventually he shows up one day and confronts my friend in the street. 

John witnessed this and comes out to challenge the bully and utterly and completely destroys this kid who had to be 50 pounds heavier. 

He was one of those big red headed kids and the much smaller much faster Asian kid beat the crap out of him before he knew what happened.

It was watching a Bruce Lee movie live. Afterwards my friend just walked up to me and said “Well I guess that’s the end of my (bully’s name) problem.” It was. 

Another time a different kid who was fostered by the same family was getting picked on relentlessly by some upperclassmen.

They were using racial slurs running him off the road with their cars when he rode his bike around.

Finally he had enough one day at school and got into trouble with the ringleader of the bullies.

Through broken English and a lot of Vietnamese swearing he agrees to meet them at the only gas station in town after school to settle things. 

Kid shows up to confrontation and removes a glass bottle from his bag promptly breaks it and brandishes the jagged glass like a knife. 

Cue the bully immediately running to his car and taking off while the kid says that this is how you settle your honor in his country or something to that effect.

No one messed with him anymore after that incident.

ICanHelpU717


33 Boomer’s Got Style

My grandpa was a Nam vet really nice guy kinda your typical portly boomer type.

Well one day we were at the mall and on the way back to the car some frat punk looking guy was walking along singing a dirty song composed mostly of profanity. 

My grandpa told him "hey there's kids around here watch your mouth." Guy sizes up my grandpa sees hes kinda old got a belly and decides he's going to prove to his two buddies how tough he is by bowing up on an old man.

He flexes his cutoff sleeved arms juts his barbed wire tribal neck tattoo chin out and kinda tries to chest bump my grandpa.

My grandpa suddenly is in this perfect boxer's stance and just rocks this guy in the gut. Frat dude goes down on his knees winded and my grandpa says "I said watch yer mouth boy." Guy starts to get up and say "screw you" but my grandpa puts a left hook into his face and a right punch into his neck under his ear and the dude goes down spread eagle and out cold. 

My grandpa steps over him walking towards his two buddies who book it. We got in the car and he made me promise not to tell my mom.

vict0r117


34 Join the Convoy

We were in the funeral procession on a back road headed to the cemetery for my uncle’s graveside service.

This “jack wagon” in his POS mobile comes speeding up a side road breaks the line and decides to pass everyone using the left lane.

He was a real jerk and totally disrespectful. When he overtook the hearse his day took a downturn. He forced one of the eight motorcycle escorts off the road.

It was at this point he found that there were hundreds of police cars following behind the family.

My uncle was a high ranking deputy sheriff and basically every local police officer state trooper and deputies from over 50 counties were attending that funeral.

When his car disappeared in the rear view mirror he was “gently” being taken into custody and placed into the back of a deputy’s cruiser by several LEOs.

wizardrc


35 Tag Team

One night my dad had his garage broken into by some kids.

We were in there working on some designs for the ducts of a house being built when some kid knocked on the door of the garage.

We went out to help the one kid whom we assumed was alone at the time on the other side of the house from our detached garage.

Dad goes around to the garage to get his set to help out and finds a different kid walking out with his 40 oz bottle o' booze.

That kid got laid flat pretty quickly.

I heard this interaction and shuffled my way over abandoning the kid on the side of the house facing the big street (we're on the corner). 

I see the out-cold kid on the ground in front of the garage door with the bottle and know something is up.

I go back around the house to see if they're connected and the kid with the bike has taken off down the street on the bike that we were really just going to fix the brakes on.

Knowing that kid 1 was gone and figuring there were 2 at this point Dad heads into the house - again the garage is detached but not far - and finds yet another kid fumbling around in the bedroom where his keys were.

He comes back out of the house and tells me to make sure they don't go anyway both of them are out cold at this point and he is off to chase down the kid on the bike.

He ends up chasing kid 1 in his van down the street near a hardware store and bumps his tire from behind to kill his balance and knock him to the ground in the parking lot.

I would say that was a night of violent justice.

Starthreads


36 Corporal Punishment

Way back in high school - this bratty kid from up north had just moved to Texas.

I guess he was used to causing trouble and disrupting class and didn't quite get it yet that our teachers in Texas could use corporal punishment back then (paddlings and Buck Rags primarily in our school).

For those that don't know Buck Rags can be purchased from goat farmers it's just a rag that's been rubbed all over a rutting billy goat - usually for goat breeding but also parents (and previously teachers) bought them for discipline because they stink so bad. 

You just open the lid of the jar it's in and make them hold their nose in it for 3-5 minutes.

I preferred a whopping to those vile things!

He got sent to the VP office and got Buck Ragged his first week and gagged and puked and stunk like manure the rest of the day.

He didn't cause much trouble after that.

Compebat4


37 Street Fighter

I had a friend in college we'll call him John for Internet anonymity.

He's an awesome guy but has a sketchy childhood due to bad parents. His dad took off when he was a kid and his mom was a heavy drug user.

He spent time living with his grandma and in foster homes. 

He didn't have two pennies to rub together but went to college on a football scholarship.

He wasn't a big guy he played safety but he was very athletic and had solid muscles.

But he was also very mild mannered and quiet. 

Anyway that sets the story up. We were all out doing what you do in college hopping from bar to bar.

John had hardly had anything to drink because he didn't have a ton of money for that sort of thing and wasn't the sort of guy to comfortably accept lots of free drinks. 

As we're walking down the street between establishments one of the girls in our group starts getting catcalled.

We're all pretty drunk so there were lots of words yelled back and forth. 

It escalated to one of the guys coming over but there wasn't any signs of danger at this point just college idiots being college idiots.

John hadn't been involved in the yelling except to tell everyone to calm down and let it go.

He was trying to guide us all away from the confrontation like a sober sheep dog when the guy who had been catcalling throws this wild punch hitting John. 

It was a completely cheap shot but he mostly missed the mark.

The hook got more shoulder than head/face. But John turned and before any of us knew what was going on John had put his shoulder into the guy's stomach drove him to the ground and went to town on his guy's face.

We pulled him off and the whole fight must have only lasted 5-10 seconds. 

But the guy was out cold and bleeding in the street. After the fact we found out he ended up in the ER with a broken nose and orbital bone.

The guy ended up dropping out and we didn't see him again.

But everyone learned that you don't mess with John.

_sacrosanct


38 She Was Profiled

Co-worker is out driving around with his wife.

He takes her to the salon for a haircut and waits for her in the car.

The salon is in a part of town that isn't that great.

She comes out and back in the car and they pull away. A couple of cops swing in behind them and follow for a block or two.

Eventually the cops pull them over and start asking them questions.

Now my co-worker is white.

His wife is black.

As the cops question them it becomes clear that they suspect he's picked up a prostitute.

He tries to explain that they are in fact together. 

The cops are getting increasingly smug and derisive with their questions.

"Oooooh this is your wife huh? Interesting. You two seem like a... surprising... match!" That sort of thing. Increasingly insulting toward his wife and increasingly racist.

Throughout this his wife keeps quiet.

Finally she's had enough. Says so out loud. Co-worker said her exact words were "You know what? Screw this scrap." 

She pulls out her ID. Her FEDERAL ID. Shows it to the cops. And then ice cold says "FBI Special Agent Smith. Do we have some sort of a problem here gentlemen?"

Co-worker said the cops went white as a sheet and wide eyed.

Apparently they turned on their heels and practically ran back to the cruiser without saying a word hopped in and just took off.


39 The Snotty Kid

The summer of 2004 at my ballet school there was this annoying girl who constantly brag about how skinny she was.

Sometimes even standing in front of the studio mirrors and admire her frame while cooing " ooooo I'm soooo skinny I love it " .

She would also walk around the rest of us during lunch time and insult everyone's food for being 'not vegan' 'dirty' 'fat' and 'full of hormones'.

Well one day during lunch she decided to pick on the tough muscly Brazilian girl (we'll call her Betty) for drinking milk ( 'full of hormones that me you fat and bad').

Betty didn't like that.

So after classes were over Betty lured Annoying Brat into the parking lot and beat the crap out of her.

I along with several others heard it go down because said parking lot was behind the dressing room bathroom.

After the butt kicking Annoying Girl no longer insulted peoples' food nor bragged about her figure.

mtthellspawn


40 Team Kill

This happened to a cop friend of mine.

He's a big dude martial artist and a huge teddy bear of a personality and at the time was driving a small small car.

Think that episode of the Simpsons where Nelson gets called out.

Anyway he just finished a shift and was driving home a few towns over.

That place is known for cops to go "fishing" where they pull you over first then find something.

So they pull this guy over and start by asking him to step out of the car.

He doesn't. "Sir we have reports of someone matching the description of both you and your car causing trouble please step out now." (They actually got me and a friend with this years later. 4 cop cars 7+ officers all of us searched and our spotless records ran over an expired registration).

My buddy keeps his cool and informs him he won't be stepping out of anywhere.

"So you mean to tell me there is another 6'4 man with a shaved head driving a 87 Ford Fiero at 12am in this town?"

So this cop keeps pressing him yea we're not asking anymore get out. So he does.

Standing a good few inches taller than this bad cop (no donut) he asks for the supervising officers name and his badge number.

Friend just finished his shift still had his radio on and knows the story is BS and doesn't like bored cops fishing. Cop was reported but we assume nothing happened.

pewter_scooter


41 He Could Hold His Own

While working as a bouncer I saw these two guys start to harass a buddy of mine.

I didn't do anything because I knew who HE was but they didn't.

He and I grew up in the same martial arts classes. We were both involved in football and wrestling. He is a Marine. He however doesn't look at it.

He is about 5ft 9in tall toned but nowhere near bulky and a very kind looking fellow. 

The two guys were mocking him for wearing sandals. He blew them off and kept talking to his other friends.

One of the pair got really close to him and knocked the hat off my friend's head.

My friend turned to them and politely told them "Hey. I get it. You two are tough and hate my sandals. Please just leave me alone. I am just trying to have a good night. Also don't touch me or my belongings." 

As he reached down to pick up his hat the guy kicked it away and tried to push him over. That's when the fun started.

My buddy grabbed the guy by his knees and introduced the jerk to the ground. 

My buddy bounced back and barked at them to stop. The other guy rushed him and proceeded to make out with my buddies' knees.

The first guy went to get up and shook hands with my buddies fist. 

At this point I waltz over. I grab the second guy by the back of his pants and drag him outside. He is whimpering in pain complaining that his nose might be broken.

I set him down and go to retrieve the other idiot. 

Upon returning my buddy has the guy's arm behind his back. He passes the moron to me and I toss him out.

The cops are called and everything gets handled. 

Idiot 2 had a broken nose and idiot 1 had a bag in his pocket. One went to the emergency room and the other to jail.

I walked my buddy back inside and bought him a beer. The whole time people are staring in amazement due to the fact that my little buddy took down bigger guys in a few seconds. I thought it was hilarious.

DatAssamite


42 Boiling With Rage

I am a pretty calm person but when someone treats someone badly it makes my blood boil. I have calmed down with age but one story comes to mind.

In 6th grade this boy named Logan would constantly pick on another classmate named Dustin.

Dustin was born with a defect. His legs did not fully form (he had prosthetics) and he had other issues which required him to wear a diaper. In all other ways Dustin was a happy and cool dude.

He was just given a bad hand in life.

Logan was constantly picking on Dustin. He would call him peg leg make fun of his mother for making a deformed baby and occasionally made fun of the fact he had to wear a diaper.

Logan usually got away with doing whatever he wanted because his family had money and power in our town.

My sweet English teacher (where Dustin Logan and I all shared a class) would send him to the Principal constantly.

Finally it came to a boiling point.

We sat alphabetically in class. I sat in the front desk Logan behind me and Dustin behind Logan. As Dustin was walking to his desk something inspired Logan to trip Dustin.

Dustin walking with a cane obviously tripped badly and hit the wall. 

I saw red. I stood up punched Logan so hard in the chest that he fell over two rows of desks.

He gathered himself and stood up screaming "DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID TO ME?!" My teacher had this small smirk. She said..."I saw nothing."

Logan never spoke toward Dustin again.

Dustin passed away a few years ago due to health complications. Poor fella.

DoubleVSquared


43 Erik, The Berserker

Erik The Berserker

aSo a friend of mine lets call him Erik he looks just like a normal guy he is very soft spoken and usually very kind he can take a joke on his expense and laugh along with everyone.

However Erik used to be a fighter he used to get into fights all the time and when he fights he fights to win by whatever means he has.

So me and some friends were out drinking and Erik was with us we sat down next to some other guys and we just talked and laughed and had a merry time.

Then one guy in the other party was irritated at Erik because he didn't rise to any sort of challenge all verbal jibes Erik just laughed at and returned in good manners so to speak.

So this other guy got more and more irritated at Erik over time and this other guy was pretty big but not huge or anything maybe 6 foot tall and looked to be fit.

Erik is 5'8 or so and just looks like a normal guy so this other guy started to really abuse Erik verbally and Erik just asked him to stop because it wasn't funny and it ruined the mood in general. 

This made the other guy even more angry so he got up and into Erik’s face saying something like "you’re such a wuss you would never dare to get into a fight" and Erik still sitting down just grabbed him tripped him and forced him down to the floor where he just controlled the other guy who was more or less helpless.

Both Erik and the other guy got thrown out of course. The other guy didn't have the sense to understand he had been beaten so maybe 20 steps outside he tries to sucker punch Erik.

He hits Erik in the face and Erik got really mad so he just beat the other guy into a quivering mess on the street. Broken nose and maybe a tooth or two got knocked out for the other guy Erik maybe a sore cheek.

baronmad


44 Vanilla Ice

Back in high school you used to get suspended for fighting--whether or not you were the victim or perpetrator you both got suspended. Some of the bullies realized they could really mess with the smart kids — the ones that wanted to get into Ivy's and were in all the advanced placement classes were in all the clubs student government etc. Essentially a suspension would hurt their chances of getting into a good college.

Well there was this guy that came from New York that we nicknamed "Vanilla Ice". He was a big jerk and went around messing with people. He started messing with one kid and both ended up getting suspended even though the smart guy didn't do anything (the dude literally sucker punched him).

Unfortunately for Vanilla Ice his younger brother was on the wrestling team and was our 215 lbs. Vanilla Ice was a big guy maybe 175 lbs and fairly muscular. The wrestling team decided they had had enough of this mess.

Now I've been around the block a few times — served an enlistment in the Marines worked security at a nightclub and was an MMA fighter so I've seen some things. To this day this was one of the most vicious beatings I've ever seen.

The wrestling team planned this like a military strike. In the middle of the change in lunches the team set up. Our 171 lbs shoulder checked Vanilla Ice hard as he was walking back to class. Ice turned around to buck up (arms outstretched and all). Then our 215 lbs came from the side and delivered a haymaker that dropped him cold.

A few more guys on the team surrounded him and began kicking him. Like I said this was highly planned and a few of the guys wore their steel-toed boots. Naturally everyone in the school gathered around which prevented the teachers and administrators from breaking the fight up as well as making it incredibly hard to see who was involved. 

It probably took a full 30 seconds for the teachers to get to him at which point the wrestling team faded back into the crowd.

Afterwards the boots came off (to get rid of the blood) and got dumped into the trash (which gets taken out between lunch shifts). The team then switched into wrestling shoes and slipped into the wrestling room and all corroborated the same story: they were practicing when it all went down.

The end results from what I heard was broken ribs a collapsed lung + internal bleeding broken fingers broken arm dislocated shoulder concussion broken nose missing teeth shattered jaw (had to be wired back together) broken cheekbone broken eye socket missing ear and detached retina.

Ice did not come back to school nobody got in trouble.


45 It’s Always The Quiet Ones

I had one moment when I was 15 in class. The teacher had left to get something and it was one of the few classes where I had taken effort to take notes in an orderly manner (I have VERY bad handwriting because I write fast but this time I took the effort to do it slowly and carefully).

So I grab a bottle of water from my backpack and start drinking from it. The guy sitting behind me reaches and hits the bottle with his finger just a little enough so it'll flip out of my mouth. So my clothes are now wet and my notebook is wet too.

I'm usually a quiet guy short and never pick up fights or stuff but I do yell back. So I stand right by this guy's side (he's still sitting) and everyone is expecting me to start yelling or insulting him. He has this smug "yell all you want you'll still be wet" grin in his face. So I grab his head and slam it into his desk. 

And then do it again. And then kick his chair so he falls down while the guy next to him starts telling me to calm down. Then I go back to my desk sit and cross my fingers like nothing happened.

Teacher comes in finds everyone staring at me this guy with a red face and me silent so he asks what happened. Someone says "OP slammed X's head on the table." Teacher looks at him looks at me and then says "Well I didn't see anything so move on."

After class the teacher calls me and asks if I really did do that. It's important to note I was as I said usually quiet and well behaved and this teacher likes and trusts me. So I tell him the truth I did slam this guy's head into the desk and explain why. 

Teacher just stares at me and says "Well... I didn't believe it because you know you never pick up fights... well just don't do it again."

I apologized to the guy after that. And he apologized to me. But it did wonders. No one picked on me until my last year there but that's another story.

Mega_741


46 You can't teach an old dog new tricks? Well! NOT TRUE

On a recent train travel I was sitting in my window seat comfortably and all of a sudden the seat in front of me went straight into my knees. I cried in pain and pushed into the seat as a reflex action. The jerk in front of me moved his seat all the way back to my knees. I asked him politely if he could compromise and not move his seat back so far. He would not respond. Then believe it or not he moved the seat back even further. I thought the seat must have been broken his bald head was basically in my lap. I complained loudly but was ignored. A few minutes later I tried to get myself noticed by raising my voice to complain but it just made the situation worse. The man ran back to the back to tattle on me and brought a biased Flight Attendant in to talk to me. She was insulting and abrupt and called me names. I tried to defend myself by saying there was something wrong with the seat but she would not reply. 

When I politely asked to move He responded "Screw off I got here first so it's mine now". A few moments later he came crawling back. When I left the plane he was handled by the police service. I just wanted a comfortable flight!


47 I gave bait to Karen, and she happily took it.

I used to work at Walmart one day Karen came and wanted me to return her old laptop that had an expired warranty. Despite my explanations Karen kept arguing and insisting that I return it.

I took a closer look at the laptop and exchanged it with a new one without saying a word.

Karen swiftly left the store and when my colleague saw what I did he instantly asked' Why on earth did you return that broken laptop?; I laughed at him and turned that laptop screen toward him His jaw dropped to the ground in disbelief.

She forgot to close her private pictures on the laptop.


48 Not On His Watch

When I was on vacation in Sharm El Sheikh (Egipt) I saw a Russian girl carrying her own food on the beach where you can't (very stupid rules).

So one man from that beach staff tried to take that food from her. 

She didn't want her food taken from her and tried to rip it off his hands.

So that man hit her in the face so hard that her glasses shattered. Unfortunately for that man the girl's boyfriend (or probably husband) noticed that. 

He was like Hulk but not green. So Hulk punched that guy so hard that he immediately lost consciousness and dropped on the sand.

After 10 seconds two of the almost-dead guy's friends came to beat that Russian Hulk but with no luck. 

One had his face smashed into the table and the other was hit with Hulk smash in his stomach.

And sorry for my English

MYCOOLNEJM


49 The Unexpected

At work I had a chess board and would play with various people during lunch. None of us were particularly great or anything it was just a fun diversion.

One day one of my co-workers came up an older woman who was always very sweet and quiet and asked if I wanted to play a game.

She destroyed me. Like it wasn't even a close game. Towards the end I would make a move and she would just say in the sweetest tone possible "Oh are you sure you want to make that move?"

Destroyed.

Turned out she had actually competed in some chess tournaments when she was younger and both of her sons were active competitors.

KirTakat


50 Living The Dream

As an arrogant 14-year-old I was at skyzone a recreational place with a lot of trampolines. I was in the dodgeball section and I told a twenty-something man that was "the number one person on my people to get out list". 

This man was put on the other team and he was a very athletic man. He proceeded to hurl these rubber dodgeballs at what seemed like the speed of sound as he eliminated my entire team three games in a row saving me for last each game. 

Every time he got me alone he hit me in the dick in front of all my friends. I should not have messed with him.

DONT_PM_SHIT


51 The Head Doorman

From a friend and one of the bouncers at the club he works at -

This bouncer had not long started work and was sent by his security agency to cover a shift in Merthyr Tydfil (I've not been but heard it's quite a rough area) and during the night the head doorman refused entry to a guy for being too drunk and for being involved in an incident at a different nightclub a few weeks prior.

The drunk dude began to get all up in the head doorman's face threatening to come back with "The boys".

This is usually quite an empty threat - normally a drunk dude gets all angry for a bit and then walks away/moved on by the police.

In this instance the guy walked away and the new bouncer who was covering thought the issue had passed.

30 minutes later the drunk guy returns with 15 of his friends marching down the road "like a scene from Green Street/football factory"

The new bouncer is watching these guys approach with the head doorman thinking "F*ck! f*ck! f*ck! We're going to be in a spot of trouble here".

He sees the head doorman reach inside his coat pocket.

"Holy crap does he have a weapon or something?! Crap is going to hit the fan".

The head doorman produces a gumshield from his pocket puts it in his mouth and limbers up his neck and cracks his knuckles all in complete silence and calm.

The lad's approaching see this and pause before one shouts "Nah f*ck that mate" and they all scatter.

The new bouncer asked not to be sent there on the cover again.

jacktli


52 Squirt Gun War

When I was younger my family would go rafting with a couple of other families down a very calm river.

People would often bring some kind of squirt guns and people would try and fire at people in other rafts. Everyone on the river did this.

Well one time we were floating by a very large group (at least 40+). They had all their rafts tied together which were all covered by towels.

We thought "Oh boy we should get them! Look how many people there are! This will be epic!" Mind you this is 9-year-old mentality. 

Then we issued the first strike.

This is where things went wrong. They shouted "I wouldn't do that!" We had heard this before; an opposing raft issuing mild threats to get us to not fire our Tinker Toys squirt guns.

Hence we continued. Another warning "I really wouldn't do that!". The measly firing ensued. Then a loud " You've really done it now!" And this is when I thought "I messed with the wrong person".

Suddenly the sound of a generator came across the river. The group of 40+ unveiled all of the towels only to display they had a fire hose.

The pressure from the fire hose was insurmountable and could easily reach the other side of the river. Our entire group was heavily doused in a matter of seconds. 

The squirt gun game ended quickly.

a_very_nice_lad


53 Tough Karma

It was my sophomore year of HS.

I was walking across the parking lot after school on the way to my friend's car when another student's car comes hauling ass down one of the aisles and almost hit me.

They start honking at me like it's my fault so I flip them off and keep walking. 

They chased me down three or four aisles as I just kept casually walking across the lot.

When they finally catch up to me this crazy psycho jumps out ready to kill me. 

This is the guy in school who has been transferred like ten times because he gets kicked out of every school deals drugs gets suspended every other day for beating someone up etc. 

So I witch out and started apologizing I don't want any part of this dude. I know the type of people you can and can't start crap with and this guy is crazy as fudge. Somehow I talked myself out of the ass beating I had coming and took off with my friends. 

What I didn't know was that this guy had been expelled that day and that night he shot a guy in the face and killed him at a party. 

Glad I didn't decide to be my usual smart-ass self that day.

BigAl265


54 Wrong Target

Not me but a friend I was traveling with. When i was 20 we were in a DCA drum corps for the summer on our way to a show in PA or something. We had stopped at a Wendy's to eat. 

While we were there a group of bikers (obviously part of a club) came in the same Wendy's to eat. They sat behind us. My friend decided to try to hit me with his straw paper.

His attempt went right past me and hit a biker in the back of the head. We go dead silent waiting for a reaction.

Nothing. 

We let out a deep sigh of relief and continued eating.

As we are heading out the door my friend decides to use the bathroom. I waited for him on the bus. A few minutes later he comes flying out of the Wendy's red-faced and looking terrified.

Apparently a biker had met him in the bathroom cornered him and explained "I'm the nice kind of biker so I'm going to let you off with a warning but be aware that many bikers would be kicking your ass right now. Get out of here"

That was the end of shooting straw paper.

SigKapEA752


55 Tougher Brother

It's a story about my brother.

We're from Ireland but now my brother lives in Boston with his fiance. I flew to Boston to visit for a couple of weeks and we decided to go downtown one night to hit the bar scene.

It was me my brother and his fiance.

Anyways we're standing in line when all of a sudden a guy pushes through us and takes a spot right in front of us. He was wearing a military uniform - Navy I think? Although I'm not 100% sure. 

My brother's fiance fell to the floor because of this guy and all he did was look over his shoulder and snigger after he did it.

Naturally my brother confronted him but was met with various insults that ended with something like "You see this uniform guy? Yeah fck off".

So yeah it's an understatement to say that my brother has a sharp temper.

After a few seconds my brother stuck his boot into the side of the guy's knee which caused him to fall towards the floor like a sack of crap. As he was falling he was caught with a serious right hook which in turn knocked him unconscious.

I don't know what happened after that as we had to leave the area sharpish.

It proves you're not a hardass because you're wearing a fancy uniform.

KarmaHoldsYouBack


56 Set Aside Your Boastful Self

I'm coming in late to this thread but I have a good story for it.

I was pretty young (14-16 ish) and I had a bit of a reputation for fighting. Just schoolyard nothing real. 

But I was out late one night being a hooligan with some buddies who worked at McDonalds and we got hungry. So we head that way to cash in on their employee discounts and there's this little Asian man standing out front sweeping I think.

He looked about 40 and pretty haggard I'm talking thin hunched over wispy mustache glasses about a foot shorter than me. My friend says "This is Moon Su" (something like that definitely had Moon in it) "and he could kick all of our asses." 

Now he said this directly at me intentionally because he knew I was the kind of hothead who would want proof of this. I loudly proclaimed "No freaking chance." Sweeper Moon wasn't too far away and heard the whole exchange.

And I guess you don't get to middle age working at McDicks without being a bit of a fudge up because he threw his broom down and his hands up to square off with a cocky teenage kid at that mild of a provocation.

I wasn't scared of him at all. I had already beaten a few "black belts" at high school and I had a huge size advantage. So I was laughing when I obliged him and put up my hands as well. 

What happened next was so fast and wild that I still don't really understand it but I was hit with an incredibly large amount of open-palm strikes in the span of about 5 seconds. They were so fast that I had no time to even think about blocking or clinching with the guy. 

All I could think was "God damn it I have messed with the wrong guy. This is like a real-life Mortal Kombat combo." After a few shots to the face I went down onto a knee and cupped my head in submission.

Moon just picked up his broom and resumed sweeping and I went in for some humble fries with a side of shame.

Ser_Reginold


57 Horror of Second Pay

Was working a NASA grant (SBIR) many years ago. Got paid closed the grant +2 frustrating and hassleful would not do it again.

Literally a year later got a phone call from a NASA grant admin who wanted some more paperwork. I said I was done with the grant--go away. Admin said "Well I won't pay you until you complete this paperwork." Me: "You've already paid me."

Admin: "Huh. Well if you don't give me the paperwork--we'll pay you again." Thought about it for a moment and told him that the paperwork would be there in a few business days.

po8


58 The Hustler

I was bartending back in the day when some younger gentlemen attempted to hustle one of our hustlers.

He proceeded to beat them for roughly two hours of pool. Towards the last game as our resident hustler was getting tired of hustling the younger gentlemen one of them slipped outside rather quickly. 

The older one began to protest that he wasn't being given a chance to win back his money and rather tough luck was given as the resident sat at the bar and ordered a beer. 

By the time I had brought the beer back our resident hustler had been asked to step outside for being rude enough to hustle some hustlers and he obliged. 

When he got outside and squared up against the young man his partner who had slipped outside the bar came running down the block with a tire iron and hit our resident hustler right in the back of the head.

As I started to dash for the phone I heard our resident loudly proclaim "Who brought the tuning fork!". At this point he took away the tire iron and proceeded to beat the unholy hell out of the two younger men.

Then he came back into the bar to drink the beer I had poured.9

grandpachaos


59 Not Joe

It happened during Navy A school. This guy Joe grew up in Brooklyn and spent much of his time boxing to stay off the streets. He was of Puerto Rican descent. He began flirting with a very pretty young lady of African-American heritage. 

This did not sit well with some of the other young sailors attending this fine school. One day he and I are exiting the mess hall and three guys jump him. I try to help him and he tells me this is not my fight. 

Joe beat the heck out of all three guys. One guy had a fractured orbital and he broke ribs on another guy. I stood by and did nothing. I didn't need to. I never saw anything like it.

rodeler


60 The Teacher

In high school I took AP US History from a Vietnam vet. He was a stern man with no patience for bullcrap and a heart of gold. I loved his class. He presented history based on factual documentation and with as little bias as possible. 

He forced us to critically think and encouraged discussions regularly. His tests were always fifty multiple-choice fifty true or false and two timed essay questions. You always studied for those because the easiest part was the timed essay. 

There were no easy multiple-choice questions. For example if it asked you the date of an event unless you knew the correct answer all four answers made complete and total sense.

When the class did well he baked us brownies. I'm not sure if they were delicious on their own merit or because we earned them but goddamn they tasted like victory. To this day I've never had a more challenging or rewarding class.

The only sign of his service was a small banner that read "Army Ranger" he kept posted on his window. From time to time he'd tell us silly stories about his unit but kept most of his service secret. 

Some kids did some snooping and a rumor he had been tapped for Delta and was a sniper in Vietnam started flying around school. Aside from AP US History he also taught Psychology as an elective. I signed up because I loved his classes (also brownies).

On the first day he handed out syllabuses and gave a brief overview of the things we would be covering. When he finished he asked if there were any questions we would like answered. 

I think part of the reason I loved his AP class was my classmates. We were all there because we wanted to be and took our academic pursuits seriously. Psychology was not the same batch.

This moron kid (who I recently found out is incarcerated on multiple DUI counts as well as domestic abuse and possession with intent to distribute) raised his hand. He asked how many men women or children he had killed in Vietnam and whether or not he had kept ears as trophies. 

Immediately everyone in the class knew how incredibly messed up this kid was. There are some lines you don't cross especially when you're talking to a guy who had a heart attack and a week later was out running ten miles (a light jog as he put it).

The teacher handled it professionally and said he was only taking questions pertinent to the class. The kid followed up with: "So like twenty or what?".

You know that moment when you drop a glass and realize there's nothing you can do to save it? The only you can do is brace for the impact. Imagine that moment lasting longer than it takes for a glass to fall. 

Imagine it felt that way for a full minute. Two minutes. An hour. A lifetime. That's how it felt in that room. Everyone looked intently at their belly buttons while we waited for the hammer to drop. Well everyone except for me. My eyes were squarely on my teacher.

He used to say that life is defined by the trying moments the difficult ones; it's easy to act morally and justly on a full belly. The mark of a man is how he handles himself under duress. 

His jaw clenched and lips tightened as he placed his hands firmly on the podium he lectured from. He was a master of the slow blink and now employed it with devastatingly terrible connotations.

"Mr. [redacted]. Please collect your belongings and see yourself to the office. I will be along shortly."

The classroom sat in silence. We knew how it felt when he was disappointed we didn't do better on a quiz. We knew how it felt when someone asked a boneheaded question.

But this this feeling here was new. It was coals of anger restrained only by sheer force of will it was rage incarnate.

"What?" The kid smiled and looked around at his silent classmates "Did I say something wrong? Why do I have to go to the office?"

I wish I could say this kid had balls of steel but all evidence points to the contrary; he had brains of mush.

"Mr. [redacted]" his voice was even and controlled but radiated power "you will collect your belongings and see yourself to the office right now..." He repeated again slower and more clearly "...or I will assist you in doing so."

And then it hit. Like a tsunami wave crashing against the shore he realized how much crap he really was in. He wasn't being sent to the office because the teacher was angry he was being sent to the office for his own well-being. Finally breaking my sight line I look at the kid. His face was pale and mouth slightly open signifying the epiphany currently washing over him. He quickly grabbed his stuff not even bothering to put it in his bag and left.

My teacher took a deep breath closed his eyes and then said "Are there any OTHER questions regarding my class?"

What I should have said was nothing. What I actually said was: "We still get brownies for doing well on tests right?"

He looked at me with the same cold eyes my classmate had earned. My boisterous confidence shriveled under the gaze. I had taken the anger from being asked if during a war he had butchered innocents and redirected it unto myself with a smartass question. I would be joining my idiot counterpart soon. 

He gave me a slow blink and said "Everybody but you Mr. Kid everybody but you." He gave me a small rare grin as the class sighed and chuckled. "Please open your textbooks to page [somenumber] and begin reading. I have other ahem matters to attend to. I will return momentarily."

The kid transferred classes that day. Three weeks later I received my first last and only personal pan of brownies for a perfect score on his test.

thekoreankid


61 Train Drama

When I was 14 my brother (one of my long-time mentors and heroes) took me to NYC for my birthday. He was 29 at the time and was on leave from the military.

He had left the 1st Ranger Battalion and just finished the Army Special Forces Q-Course (Green Beret).

By all accounts he was and still is a bad mamma-jamma.

He is incredibly quiet soft-spoken and very gentle. We were on the subway headed to Times Square and I was standing next to him both of us holding a vertical rail in the train.

From the next compartment a group of young urban troubadours was passing roughly through the crowd and shoulder-bumping people to get through.

When they bumped into my brother it was like waves crashing into a rock.

They eyed him and the leader of the group said something along the lines of "Who the heck are you? Are you supposed to be tough or something?" 

To which my brother calmly responded "Actually I am tough. If you care to find out for yourselves let's wait until we're off the train I'd hate to leave a mess in here."

They made the wise choice of leaving at the next stop.

ElevenAlpha


62 Not Your Day

I'm happy to say I was the wrong person to mess with in this one! I've posted this story elsewhere but I'll do it here; what the hell.

So I'm biking home from school and I slip and fall in some mud.

Not a terrible thing in and of itself but a bunch of kids see and start laughing saying stupid things like "Hurr durr I think I'll bike through the mud!" Whatever I brush it off and bike home thinking what's the worst that can happen? I'll never see those kids again.

What I had missed was that a kid I knew from my karate classes was one of those kids and he took it upon himself to rub that moment in my face every time he could.

I tried laughing it off at first but eventually he took it so far that I had to tell him to back off which only spurred him on more well into the realm of bullying.

Fast forward to karate class. Surprise sparring day and by sheer chance he and I are the first opponents. Obviously we both understand this is more than a friendly match. 

The ref starts us off and we each immediately deliver a resounding punch to the other's gut at exactly the same time.

Then there's that moment of stillness like in anime when the two swordsmen clash and then one of them is cut completely in half. This time however it's this kid realizing that he can't breathe. 

He starts coughing and tries raising his arms above his head but nothing works. Ref asks him if he's ok but he can't even get a word out. All he can do is sit down with the other students.

I go on to win my next few matches. Suffice it to say this kid conveniently forgets about the mud incident.

divad91


63 Unordinary Stranger

I was outside of a bar late in a night of drinking on a friend's last night in town. I was crap-faced.

Now this bar has a door that doesn't close behind you it was cold and I was freaking sick of people just leaving it open while they stood there and smoked. Finally I snapped at some dude and I drunkenly go

"hey man there are only two kinds of people in this world...people who check to make sure a door is shut for the benefit of others and jerks like you who just expect that crap to shut behind their entitled ass."

The guy reaches into his pocket. Tells me he "could be some crazy guy" and I should really think about messing with him annndddddd my friend pulls me away while I curse at him. She then tells me that he is her friend's coke dealer and totally crazy and had just gotten out of jail and probably had a gun.

Ya. Bought him a cheap beer and got the fudge out of there.


64 Know Who’s In Charge

When I was 20 I tried to mess with my father. I'd been taking martial arts for a few years and figured I could get my father in an arm lock.

I'm 6 foot 5 and 250 pounds pounds while my father was 5 inches shorter and around 40 pounds lighter so I figured how hard could it be. 

Well he was in the kitchen so I started to try and get him into a lock when he decided his youngest son needed to be shown who was in charge. He grabbed a hold of my hand and just crushed my fingers in his grip. 

I was wearing a ring and the feeling my my fingers crushing together in his grip made my mind blank and I quickly remembered that while my father had no fight training he did spend most of his life on a farm wrangling oxen and so had an iron grip. 

Needless to say I tried not to cross him after that.

Mr_Skeleton


65 Fear No One

Stopped in Reno overnight while moving across the country. Had everything I own in a little beater I bought for the trip.

All night I'm keeping an eye on the parking lot. There is a cop car in the lot. 

Sure enough late that night I see a shady guy slowly walking along the line of parked cars scoping them out.

To my surprise he decides the COP car is the one he wants to break into.

So he takes off his shirt wraps it around his arm and starts hitting the window with his forearm. 

I called the front desk and let them know what was going on. Lady says she's calling the cops. I tell her it's a cop car and ask if there is a cop staying in the hotel. She says she'll check. About 30 seconds later a very angry man in his boxers thunders out of his room and tackles the dude. 

He messed with the wrong person.

Neiliobob


66 Unexpected Position

My father recently told me this story about this asshat who he works with driving trucks for different distributors they have no smoking areas since food productions etc but this jerk decided to smoke there anyway putting his butts out in a Styrofoam cup. 

Anyway after a while his truck was loaded and decided to just throw the cup out the window after getting in his truck when a man walked past and asked him calmly to pick the cup up and put it in the bin which this intellectual giant of a driver says "if it's so important why don't you put it in the bin" before driving off. 

Without making much of a reaction he picked it up walked to the bin then made his way back inside.

When my father got back to the main truck depot he saw this driver getting yelled at by his boss turns out there was a conference being held with some overseas members of the company and the CEO the CEO of which was told to pick up the cup. 

They instantly barred the driver from the site and all associated sites and my father's boss had to jump through hoops to not lose the contract renewal.

I can't imagine the level of ecstasy that the CEO would have felt during the whole situation knowing that this prick doesn't know who he is.

Tazoo


67 Nickel Guy

There's this old miserly-looking man with a nickel who seems to just ride the subway all day.

The nickel man only seems to have one purpose in his life he sticks his hand out with a nickel on his palm and he just points it at you. 

It's like he's asking you to look at his plain ol' nickel. He's like a reverse panhandler.

One night I was coming home drunk and saw the Nickel guy. He was doing his usual rounds and he came to me. He stuck out his hand and like usual you just let him be. But I was tipsy and I pulled the nickel out of his hand. 

Within seconds he went from normal nickel guy to freaking crazy rip your face off yelling angry gorilla man. Till I put it back and he became a normal nickel guy again. 

I was mortified.

mejor_lazer


68 Not This Line

I live in front of a Hospital parking lot. Some guy in an expensive car cut in line. A lady in a van was super pissed off and kept honking. 

He got out to calm her down. 

She got out ripped off her wig and started screaming and pointing at the cancer center entrance. He looked like he wet himself and got back in his car. 

Still stayed where he cut in line though...

ChatOChoco


69 Look Up

My father and his brother who are both 6'6" were riding in my uncle's tiny little Chevette and a guy road raged and chased them into a parking lot. 

And there happened one of the events that a teen like me would love to witness.

You could almost see the guy fill his pants when they unfolded themselves out of the car.

booboobutt1


70 Not The Busker

Two drunk guys were bugging this local busker trying to get him to fight them saying all sorts of racist stuff (the busker was black).

The busker just lost it obviously he had to deal with a ton of drunk jerks he picked up his guitar and hit one of the drunk guys across the face with it.

I called the police when I saw it and later got called in to give evidence against the drunk guys who got arrested saying that they started it.

stone_opera


71 Dealt Like A G

Two kids about 11 years old were bullying this 9-year-old kid by instigating their little sister to go hit and kick him with the threat that they would beat him with a hockey stick if he retaliated.

The poor 9-year-old pleaded with them to stop but when they wouldn't he charged the kid with the hockey stick took it from him chased them off threw the stick over the fence and continued to saunter home.

I witnessed this from about 50 feet away at age 13. It took place in about a minute and while I was contemplating a way to help the kid out he just took matters into his own hands like a G.

That little kid was not the one to mess with.

benito823


72 Dodge Crickets

When I was about 10 or so I shot a cricket with a Nerf gun from a prone position and it dodged it then jumped at me and I got up in panic so fast that the gun flung from my hand into the kitchen breaking a few glasses. 

Never messed with crickets again.

S16_Drummer


73 Better Ready

I was working in a sketchy part of Albuquerque when I realized a guy was following me through the parking lot. Started walking faster so did he. 

I knew I wasn't going to get into my car before he reached me so I took the knife out of my purse turned around shoved it in his face and yelled "I’M FROM WISCONSIN I CAN GUT DEER". 

Dude took off and I got in my car shaking.

sarahm0ses


74 Hockey Guy

When I played hockey I got kicked out of a game early so I had to watch it from the stands.

A guy from the other team was chasing one of my teammates around the ice slashing him and trying to get him to fight

Finally my buddy dropped his gloves and proceeded to give this dude a man-sized sh*t-kicking. 

The teammate went on to become an enforcer in the NHL


75 Wrong Statement

After drinking and partying in the Honch outside our base in Japan my friend and I went to the on-base taxi stand to go back to the barracks.

We hail and start climbing into the first open cab we see. 

This drunken white guy was running for it but we beat him to it we didn't see him. Anyway he's furious and starts yelling at us (two girls one Latina the other black) "You stupid freaking n**ger!"

And then a group of about 6 black sailors come around the corner to the stand. I don't know how it happened. Maybe Paul Mooney summoned them.

Anyway the white guy changes his mind and ends up walking (running) to the ships. 

A fight didn't break out though.

milkcustard


76 Simple Plan

In high school between classes a couple of the defensive backs on our football team thought it would be funny to run full speed into the open doors to knock over the students that were leaving the classrooms.

After seeing this happen a few days in a row I (the football team's starting defensive tackle) decided to post up behind the door. After I felt the thump of my fellow teammate hit the door I emerged from behind the door to find him lying on the ground. I reached out a hand and helped him to his feet. Then I told him "Hey man you gotta watch where you're going. There's a door there".

acaladar


77 Not Women

This drunk/high as heck guy on the bus kept saying really rude things about this woman. 

Her husband right next to her a short white guy gets in this guy's face. 

Messed up guy gets up to hit the white dude and the white dude socked him in the stomach and then punches him in the face. Drunky got knocked out and his mouth was super bloody.

kiloechoalpha


78 Ice Cold Guy

I was in a subway station in San Francisco Church Street and this was almost twenty years ago. There was a well-dressed older Asian man probably in his seventies as I recall it. 

A particularly dirty panhandler was giving him a hard time on the platform asking for money and being really aggressive about it. The nicely dressed older gentleman reached into his pocket withdrew a handful of change and tossed it lightly into the air between himself and the street urchin. 

When the bum looked up at the money the old man karate-chopped him right in the throat and the dude went down hard. 

The bum didn't get up and the old man just calmly walked a few steps away and continued to wait for the train.

SanFransicko


79 Had Enough

I had a bully named Bunny (her real name) in junior high. I have mild cerebral palsy and I just had surgery. So here I am in the bus line on crutches in a cast up to my hip. She mouths off one too many times. 

I shove my crutches away from me I go flying through the air with my leg jutting out like a bad wing. 

I slam into her knocking us to the ground. 

Her eyes are huge! I get my face two inches from her face and say "I could fudge you up bad! You are a piece of crap and I don't want to get my hands dirty!" 

People helped me up. 

After that she would occasionally say something. If I stepped towards her she would jump.

Karenswalk


80 Not My Sister

My little sister was in high school and this much bigger fat girl kept putting her dirty sandals on the back of my sister's chair. My sister politely told her to stop. 

She kept doing so my sister knocked her feet off the back of the chair but this girl kept putting her nasty sandals on the back of my sister's chair even rubbing her sandals in my sister's hair. 

So my sister calmly walked over to her and beat her in the face until the teacher pulled her off.

catcatmewow


81 Pushed To The Limit

At a concert a dude pushed my friend out of the way so my friend pushed him back dude stopped going where he was going and turned around to push him again my friend turned around and the dude realized my friend was a foot taller and built to play rugby.

Some might try and back off at this point but he decides to toss his bottle at my friend's face. 

After bouncing off his forehead my friend tackled him down a nearby hill and by the time I got to them (like 10 seconds later wasn't dressed for hill climbing) my boy pinned him down his stomach first and punched the back of his head repeatedly. 

I pull him off and after a bit of him threatening to spend the rest of the evening chasing him down I persuade him to calm down cause the doctors are scared of him and his head is bleeding.

The dude scampered while that was happening and no one was reported dead the next evening so yeah I don't know who he was but he owes me.

KojimaForever


82 The Bouncer

The super drunk kid couldn't get into a bar because it was at capacity but he kept giving the bouncer crap.

He continues to get up in the bouncer's face and the enormous bouncer is saying something like "I'd love for you to swing at me. Go ahead." 

Naturally the drunk kid throws a wobbly punch and is subsequently picked up and pile-driven into the ground. 

The bouncer then got a few kicks in for good measure. Legit could have killed the kid. That said I doubt he will be getting in the face of a bouncer again. 

Provided he still has mobility in his extremities.

ezioauditore_