Dating in the 21st century can be a minefield. It’s easier than ever to connect with people online yet many of us are going on endless dates and still searching for the one.

When Samantha met Riley she felt like she’d found someone she really connected with. However a few months into the relationship Riley’s odd behavior raised red flags. Little did she know that his behavior was linked to unusual family dynamics that would turn her relationship completely upside down.

Riley Johnson and Samantha Lee lived in Chicago Illinois. He was a software engineer and she was a personal trainer. They met on an app and then spent the summer at wine bars watching movies and going on hikes.

Samantha had bad experiences with men in the past and she was hopeful that she’d finally found a decent guy. She was 28 and was keen to settle down. They had only been dating for a few months and there was so much she still didn't know about Riley.

Samantha felt like things were going well with Riley. Sure he wasn’t the most sensitive guy but he was intelligent and hardworking and they had fun together. He had a steady job and took good care of himself.

After three months Samantha felt like it was time to talk about the status of their relationship. She wanted to know how Riley was feeling and check that they were on the same page. The next time they saw each other she took a deep breath and opened the conversation. But what Riley said filled her with shame and self-loathing.

“Samantha babe I just don’t feel like I can’t commit to you while there’s something about you that I’m really not a fan of. This is awkward but do you think you’d be up for showering more often? Like maybe twice a day? I just think it would really help me get to a place where I can feel like we have a future together” he said while looking uncomfortable.

Samantha was gobsmacked. Yes she was a personal trainer so she worked out a lot but she showered plenty. She didn’t even know what to say.

Riley explained that he had been diagnosed with OCD and he would feel more comfortable if she would agree to a two-shower-a-day schedule. He knew it sounded extreme but would it really inconvenience her so much?

He was just a stickler for hygiene and it wasn’t something he could change about himself. As he explained more about his condition Samantha started to feel better and more understanding. However she didn’t know the real reason behind his strange demand.

After a long talk Samantha agreed to stick to Riley’s shower routine. After all she already showered once a day anyway so it wouldn’t make so much difference. Plus she wanted to be understanding about his OCD—it didn’t sound like an easy condition to live with.

Over the next few weeks Samantha always made sure she was freshly showered each time she saw her boyfriend. She felt like things were improving for them but he still seemed to have trouble being affectionate toward her. Then one day he sat her down for another serious conversation.

Riley took a deep breath and said “Sam I really like you. I do. But the showering doesn’t seem to be working. I didn’t tell you this before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings but the reason I asked you to wash more regularly is because you smell bad. There’s no easy way to say this but that’s the truth.”

“I guess it could be because you work out so much as a personal trainer but it’s really hard to be around you sometimes—the odor is just too much” he went on. Samantha stared at him. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

She was in shock. No one had ever told her that she smelled bad before and she had never been conscious of her body odor. She knew she sweated probably more than the average person but she always made sure to wear strong deodorant plus she was showering twice a day.

She knew Riley wasn’t intentionally attacking her but she couldn’t help but feel very hurt and ashamed. It was just so out of the blue. She couldn’t believe no one else would have mentioned it to her before.

That evening Samantha lay in bed her mind whirring. Was Riley right? Maybe he had just been the only one brave enough to tell her. She liked that he was direct. It still felt like maybe he could have approached the situation differently but at least she knew now.

Samantha cringed in shame at all the people who must have been put off by her body odor but never said anything. She had never smelt it herself but maybe it was hard to smell it on yourself. She couldn’t see why Riley would lie about it. However she didn’t know he had other motives in mind.

Over the next few days Samantha started a new personal hygiene regime which she stuck to religiously. She showered before and after every session with her clients and made sure to shave under her arms every day. She used the strongest antiperspirant she could find. She felt like she couldn’t be keeping cleaner.

It was exhausting but she was horrified at the idea that she smelled bad and she’d been walking around not knowing for months maybe even years. Multiple times a day she sniffed her armpits surreptitiously. To her relief they smelled fresh and clean. Or so she thought.

Despite Samantha’s best efforts the next time they saw each other Riley insisted that the odor was still there. She couldn’t help but burst into tears. She couldn’t see anything she could be doing differently.

Samantha wondered whether there was something medically wrong with her. If regular showering and personal hygiene weren’t helping maybe something serious was going on that was causing the smell. Riley encouraged her to book some tests.

At the doctor’s Samantha explained the situation and the doctor looked at her quizzically. “Samantha I can’t smell anything” she assured her. “Are you sure your boyfriend isn’t just playing a trick on you?” she continued. Samantha nodded tearfully begging for the doctor to do any tests she could.

She agreed but when the results came they showed that Samantha was in tip-top health. There was nothing medical that could possibly be causing the smell. Samantha was starting to wonder whether the smell really existed.

After the medical tests came up blank Riley encouraged Samantha to keep up with her hygiene routine and promised that he would support her to overcome this defect. He even told her that he wanted her to meet his parents.

Samantha was confused—her body odor seemed to be a huge issue for Riley and yet he must want things to move forward if he wanted to introduce her to his family. She tried to push her doubts aside and viewed this as a positive step. She was looking for a serious partnership and Riley seemed willing to give it a go.

Samantha was concerned that Riley’s parents would also think she smelled bad. She made sure to shower especially thoroughly before the dinner and dressed in freshly laundered clothes. She wore her favorite perfume and did her makeup carefully.

She was sure she smelled fragrant and looked good and set off feeling tentatively confident. The feeling disappeared as soon as she knocked on the door. Riley answered and looked her up and down critically and she noticed the slightest wrinkling of his nose. Her heart fell but she tried to keep a brave face on.

Riley led her inside to where his parents were waiting. She greeted them politely and took a seat next to Riley’s mom. “Nice to meet you Mrs. Johnson!” she said brightly. His mom smiled at her. “Oh dear please call me Margaret. By the way I just have to ask—have you been following my son's shower routine?"

Samantha was taken aback to be asked such a personal question but nodded and said “Yes he insisted I shower twice a day. Why is that?” Margaret grinned indulgently at her son. “Oh Riley’s a special boy and he likes things to be just so. It’s not such a hardship is it honey? After all it keeps you nice and fresh” she said. Samantha forced a smile but inside her heart was pounding.

The dinner was no less awkward. Samantha felt like Riley’s family was judging her the whole time. She couldn’t even take a bite without eyes on her. The only family member who made her feel at ease was Riley’s older sister Annabelle. She smiled sympathetically as the other family members interrogated her and helped her out when she got flustered.

However that was only the first course. When Riley’s mom brought out the entrees things started to get really bad.

Every time Samantha reached to take a roll or pass someone a dish she caught sight of Riley and his mom making faces at each other and wrinkling their noses. She felt tears welling in her eyes.

Samantha tried to smell herself without attracting any attention but all she could smell was her own flowery perfume. She hated the idea that Riley’s whole family thought she smelled. It was so embarrassing. Plus all the discomfort was making her sweat which couldn’t be helping the situation

Things continued in the same way as they ate with Riley and his mom making snide comments and sending pointed glances Samantha’s way each time she moved her arms. She was starting to get annoyed. She hadn’t come here to be treated like some kind of leper.

But then Riley’s mom turned to her and said “Samantha sweetie Riley’s told us so much about your personal training business. Do you find it easy to hold on to clients or do they tend to move on quickly given your you know situation?” Riley chuckled. Horrorstruck Samantha excused herself and rushed out of the room.

She dashed into the bathroom locked the door behind her and then leaned on the sink her breath coming in gasps. She’d never felt so ashamed in her life. Riley must have discussed her body odor with his mom and now she felt entitled to ask her about it over dinner.

Samantha raised her arms above her head and breathed in deeply. She still couldn’t smell anything but if it wasn’t just Riley who could smell it then it must be there. She decided she needed to take action.

Samantha took off her t-shirt and grabbed a loofah from the shower. She would have a wash there and then and then they wouldn’t be able to smell anything on her. She squirted expensive body wash over the loofah and rubbed it into a foamy lather.

She washed under her arms thoroughly and mopped the sweat from her neck and brow. She rinsed herself off and then dried herself with the hand towel. Now she could go back with the confidence that she was freshly washed and clean but her heart was still hammering.

Slowly she unlocked the bathroom door and took deep breaths trying to steady herself. She still felt faint and anxious and she wanted to be more composed before she rejoined the dinner party.

A few seconds later Annabelle came out into the hallway. She looked sympathetic. “Are you okay Samantha?” she asked kindly. “My family aren’t the easiest people to be around” she continued. Samantha was so relieved to hear that it wasn’t all in her head that tears started rolling down her cheeks. Annabelle took her hand and led her into her bedroom.

The two girls sat down on the bed and Samantha broke down letting out all the emotions she’d been bottling up since those horrible conversations with Riley. She explained everything that had happened and told Annabelle about how paranoid she was now about her odor.

Annabelle looked angry. “Listen to me Samantha this has nothing to do with you and definitely has nothing to do with the way you smell. Trust me” she said reassuringly. Samantha looked at her quizzically. What she said next made all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

“My mom and my brother have this special bond. He’s the youngest and the only boy and they’ve always been super close. In the last few years it’s started to get a little weird. They egg each other on about some very weird things and it sounds like you’ve got caught up in the middle” she explained.

“I’m so sorry he’s been able to make you feel so awful. He’s my brother but I’m telling you now—he’s an extremely difficult person. I admire you for trying to make it work but honestly I’m not surprised all this has happened” Annabelle continued. Samantha still didn’t understand why Riley would tell her she smelled if it wasn’t true.

“One of the things Riley and Mom like to believe is that they have super senses. My mom was struck by lightning when she was pregnant with him so they think they both have special powers. It sounds crazy I know but my family has always been pretty eccentric” Annabelle went on to explain.

“They pretend they can hear sounds or smell smells that no one else can smell. It makes them feel important and unique. I’m so sorry he used it to be so toxic towards you. It’s disgusting. You seem like a great girl and you deserve so much better” she continued.

Samantha couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This whole time she hadn’t actually smelled bad at all. Riley had just wanted to feel special and bring her down. He had gaslit her into fearing she had terrible body odor and forced her to shower multiple times a day.

Her feelings of shame and hurt turned to feelings of anger. How dare he treat her this way? She was so grateful to Annabelle for telling her the truth. She wasn’t going to waste her time with Riley any longer.

Samantha wiped away her tears feeling a mix of emotions—relief anger and betrayal. With newfound clarity she knew she couldn't let Riley manipulate her any longer. Annabelle's revelation about their supposed "super senses" opened Samantha's eyes to the gaslighting she had endured. She decided it was time to confront Riley.

Taking a deep breath Samantha returned to the dinner table her composure regained. She looked Riley in the eyes and calmly stated "I can't be in a relationship where I'm constantly made to feel inadequate. I deserve better than this." Riley stammered attempting to defend himself but Samantha didn't want to hear it. She stood up thanked Annabelle for her honesty and left.

For a few days Riley kept calling and texting Samantha. He hadn’t expected her to end things and still tried to claim that he was doing her a favor by telling her the truth about her body odor. She couldn’t believe he was still clinging to his bizarre delusions.

Samantha remained steadfast in her decision and refused to make contact with Riley. She hoped this could be a turning point for him when he finally realized he couldn’t get away with such abusive behavior.

As Samantha distanced herself from Riley she began rebuilding her self-esteem. She realized that she was not the problem; Riley's insecurities and delusions were. The weight of shame lifted and Samantha embraced the support of friends who had witnessed her struggle.

She focused on her personal growth both mentally and emotionally and started therapy to overcome the lingering effects of Riley’s gaslighting. She emerged stronger than ever determined not to let the scars of this toxic relationship define her.

The best thing to come out of the relationship was Samantha’s newfound friendship with Annabelle. Riley’s older sister had contacted her the day after she stormed out of the dinner party to check she was okay and they had got chatting.

It turned out that they had a lot in common including the same wicked sense of humor and Annabelle helped Samantha process what had happened with Riley. Samantha had a feeling they were going to be friends for a long time.

When Samantha met Riley she had no idea she was about to be dragged into a toxic relationship that would make her question her body her senses and her sanity. Riley made her feel degraded and ashamed but getting over him helped rebuild her self-esteem.

We hope Samantha is thriving as a strong independent woman and finding fulfillment through her work and friends. If she decides to date again in the future we’re sure it will be someone who treats her the way she deserves.